Dear Diary – Chapter 3

When the pizza delivery guy showed up that evening, I threw on a pair of shorts and went and paid him and brought the pizza into our bedroom. Mom would have shit a brick; she didn’t like for us to eat in the bedroom, but them’s the breaks when you work in the evening and leave your twelve-year-old in charge.

When I came in with the pizza, Bran said, “Dang, did the pizza guy know he just delivered pizza to a half-naked girl?”

I set the box on the bed next to Bran, who was still naked. I grimaced and patted my chest, “Got nothing here to hide, and my hair’s shorter than yours.”

Bran pushed a lock of hair from in front of his eyes, “Yeah. I think I want a haircut. It’s a pain keeping it combed.

I stripped out of the shorts before sitting next to the pizza box. We hadn’t done much since I introduced Bran to blow jobs, but a sexual energy hung over our room as we lounged naked through the day. I wondered if Bran was ready to put his stiffy into my pussy; I hoped so.

As we ate the meat lover’s pizza that Bran loved, we watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. It was a good show to start the holiday season. By the time the show was halfway over, I put the leftover pizza in the fridge and when I came back into the bedroom, Bran looked so cute, laying sideways on my bed, with his head propped against the wall. I raced across the floor and lept onto the bed, landing mostly on the bed, but just enough on him to make him curl into a ball, squealing.

He uncoiled and threw himself at me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me down. I felt his penis, which had been flopping around softly, smack against my pubic area as he clambered on top of me. I loved the feel of his body against mine, and the twinkle in his eye said he enjoyed it, too. Lying on top of me, he had to do something, so he leaned in and kissed me. My arms shot around his hips and I pulled our bodies together even more closely.

Within a few heartbeats, his penis inflated, and I could feel his erection. It felt amazing to feel his hot tube pressed against me. But I wondered how much better I would feel to have his stiffy buried inside me. After all, that’s why boys have penises and girls have vaginas–sex.

We kept wrestling, but I could tell he wanted our bodies close together, which was better than fine by me. By the time I wrangled myself on top, we were near the edge of the bed. Happy for an extra twenty pounds on him, once he was under me, I shifted my hips, drawing his stiffy down, from lying flat against my pubic mound to his tip slipping between my puffy lips. A moan escaped from my lips as I froze. Unless it was to go deeper into my pussy, I didn’t want him to move.

Lying under me, Bran gasped, “Brook! I’m, uh, in…”

Words failed him as I pressed my lips to his. I needed him. When I shifted my hips again, his stiffy slid past my clit, sliding into the narrow folds of my inner labia. I gasped with pleasure at the tingling radiating from my crotch.

Bran looked at me and grew solemn, “Ar-, are you sure?”

I nodded, “Yeah!”

When I shifted my hips, he pushed against me. His little nail slid toward the back, where it discovered my vagina. I felt the tip of his head push through my opening. Some girls have their hymens intact before sex for the first time. Not me; I had injured myself when I was in gymnastics several years before and tore my hymen. So, Bran slid into me, all the kissing and wrestling around had made me wet and he went in easier than I expected for my first time.

My mind was numb as I realized Bran’s stiffy was in my pussy! We weren’t virgins anymore! It didn’t take long for me to get used to the feel of the slender bit of Bran’s sausage shoved to his hilt. Leaning over him, I gushed, “We’re no longer virgins, bran!”

His eyes crossed as I shifted my hip and worked my knees, bring my body up a couple of inches. I trilled as I sank against him, plunging my pussy onto his stiffy. Sharing my baths and my bedroom with my cousin, the number of times I had touched myself sexually down there, I could have counted on a single hand. I had put nothing up my pussy before that evening. The tingling feeling washing over me felt was damn near the best thing in my young life.

Now that we were fucking, it took several tries to get the motion down, but after a minute or two my knees flexed as my body lifted off Bran’s stiffy only to crash against it, sending a cloud of euphoria washing over me. The longer I moved up and down, the more I wanted to keep going. The feel of Bran inside me was growing more intense. It was like hot water pouring over my insides, except it didn’t scald. And then it happened. It hit me like a wave crashing onto the shore in one of those Hawaii surf movies. My vagina clenched Bran’s stiffy, undulating with intense pressure, until he moaned and stiffened, sending my orgasm washing against me again and again.

I collapsed on top of Bran and as I lay there, catching my breath, his hands went around my back and his fingers caressed me. It took a bit for his heart to slow down; I know because I could feel it pounding against mine as I lay on top of him. He finally said, “Wow. You read about something; you think you understand. But… wow! I never imagined it as good at that.”

My lips found his, and we kissed again. It started slow, little pecks against his lips, then longer, more luxurious kisses. And then, I tried something I’d seen on TV and I pressed my tongue against his lips and he parted them and let me invade his mouth for the first time.

When I collapsed against his chest after that mind-shattering orgasm, our bodies didn’t move, so Bran’s penis was still inside my vagina. As I frenched him, the tingles between my legs returned. That his three-inch nail was still inside me, I’m sure had something to do with it. As my tongue worked around his mouth, and Bran responded to my kisses, my hips shifted above him, and that wonderful tingling sensation radiated from my pussy again. It hadn’t been ten minutes since our first orgasm together, and my brain and my body wanted another.

Bran’s tongue fought its way inside my mouth, pushing my tongue back, even as his hips responded to mine, pushing up as I pushed down. Our bodies didn’t move a lot as we discovered the secrets of French kissing, but what movement we experience felt amazing. That sexual rush came upon me a second time, and knowing what was about to crash on the shores of my pussy, I opened myself to it, and as my body shook for a second orgasm, I discovered my orgasm could continue as Bran’s erection slid in and out of my pussy and that orgasm wracked my body for dozens of heartbeats until my cousin’s body finally tensed and his penis spasmed and kicked inside of me.

Once spent, I rolled onto the bed beside Bran. My brain could barely function. I was a post orgasmic mess and could hardly wait to feel him inside me again. When my brain began functioning enough for clarity to return, I rolled onto my side, facing him. His tired eyes slid open, and he returned my smile. My arm slid across his narrow chest and I snuggled against him, “I love you, Bran.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “I love you, too, Brook.”

You may think, what does a twelve-year-old girl or a nine-year-old boy know of love. After all, lots of people have sex and in the moment’s afterglow, they’ll confess their undying love for their partner. I didn’t know that at the time, but Bran had been beside me since he was three and I was six. By now, he was my best friend. I loved and trusted him more than my own mom. And that evening, I discovered love was a well. For years I had been dipping my bucket into it, getting the water near the top. But the sweetest water lay deep inside the well, and that night I discovered those sweet waters.


I woke up the next morning to our bedroom door opening. I really didn’t wake properly until Mom’s gasp pulled me from my slumber. That’s when I realized she was looking at me and Bran asleep on my bed, where we had fallen asleep sometime after midnight after coupling for a third time. Bran was asleep on the outside of the bed and he was on his back. I was asleep on my side, nestled against my cousin, my leg touching his, and our heads only a couple of inches apart.

Mom stepped into the bedroom, a concerned expression on her face. Her voice was dangerously soft, “What’s going on, Brooklyn?”

I sat up, disturbing Bran, and looked around. We had left the towels on the floor after we got out of the shower last night for another round of sex before finally falling into a deep post-sex sleep. The best way to lie to your parent it to stick as close to the facts as possible without telling the parts you’re desperate to keep to yourself. “When we got out of the shower last night, the heater had made things warm, Mom. We, um, waited to cool off and I guess we fell asleep.”

She looked at me skeptically, “Hmm. Well, you kids get dressed, clean your room and meet me in the living room.”

Bran was awake enough to have heard the last, and we traded worried glances when Mom closed the door behind her. His voice was a whisper, “Do you think she knows?”

I shook my head. Had she known, she would have shit bricks. “I don’t think so.”

We put on our underwear, returned the towels to the bathroom, and picked up a few loose articles of clothing before we went into the living room. Mom sat in the recliner, leaving the sofa for us. When we sat down, we were next to each other, bodies touching, even though our hands were clasped in front of us. I could see Mom was tired and suspected she wanted nothing more than to be asleep.

She sighed and pinched the bridge over her nose, “I guess this is on me, if this is what ‘getting dressed’ looks like.”

Bran spoke up first, “Sorry Aunt Chloe, it’s just this is what we’ve always worn around the house. Is there anything wrong with it?”

I could see Mom’s reluctant agreement as she shook her head, “No, sweetheart. But your cousin is twelve and you’re nine and I thought one or both of you would want privacy as you get older. Instead, I come home this morning to the two of you sleeping naked together. Do you understand why that makes me feel uncomfortable?”

I jumped in, “We fell asleep after the shower, Mom. What’s the big deal?”

Mom latched onto that, “And that’s another thing, Brook, you’re twelve and I’m not sure it’s appropriate for you to still take showers with your cousin.”

I felt a spark of anger in that moment, “Why? Is there something wrong with us showering together or, gasp, seeing each other naked?”

Mom wasn’t particularly religious, the closest we came to doing church was occasionally taking Bran see my Aunt Ester’s parents at their synagogue a couple of times a year. Mom was floundering, she wanted to say it was wrong for us, but the moral underpinning of religion wasn’t there and she couldn’t find a good reason for her objection. The silence grew awkward before she finally said, “Look, kids, your bodies are going to be changing soon. And it’s not really appropriate for a girl of your age,” she looked at me before changing her focus to Bran, “and a boy of your age, to see each other naked.”

Bran nodded, as though he was accepting her explanation, but instead he said, “I’m confused, Aunt Chloe. Brook and I have been taking baths together since I was three, after my mom and dad died. Why is it okay when I’m five or six, but if Brook is twelve, it’s not? I don’t understand. Rules are supposed to make sense.”

Bran the genius. I could have leaned over and kissed him right there in front of Mom. Instead, I watched Mom deflate. Bran knew at nine that society’s rules about sex are complex and don’t always make sense. Mom tried again, “Rules don’t have to make sense, Brandon. Sometimes they just are. I want the two of you to start taking separate showers, and I don’t want to walk into your room and find you kids sleeping naked in your cousin’s bed.”

Bran laid the foundation of our disagreement with Mom based on logic. Even at nine, that was his strength. I crossed my arms and glared daggers at mom, I hit her with what she understood. Cold-hard reality. “What? So, after all this time of me and Bran sharing baths and stuff, you’re going to stay home at night and make sure we’re not showering together? Not seeing each other’s private parts?”

Mom was tired after a long night of partying with co-workers, so she wasn’t thinking on her feet, “Stay home? What? No. I will not stay home.” Tired she may have been, but I touched a nerve, “I passed up on the good tips to stay home until you were eleven and old enough to stay home on your own. I will not stay home now.”

I wasn’t sure what kind of response I was going to get, but I didn’t care as I drove my point home, “Then how are you going to enforce a rule me and Bran think is stupid? You’re always gone when we’re getting ready for bed and taking our shower.”

Anger flashed in Mom’s eyes, and I wondered if I had pushed back too hard. Bran’s voice, more forceful than usual, cut through the tension, “Aunt Chloe, don’t you trust us? I mean, to stay home while you’re working?”

Mom’s temper was in check, if just barely. “I thought I did, Brandon. But right now, I’m not sure.”

With his measured logic, he replied, “We’re fine to stay home while you work. I promise. We do our homework, fix dinner, and don’t stay up too late when it’s a school night. Nothing bad is going to happen just because we fell asleep in Brook’s bed, um, naked.”

That’s just what Mom needed; a reminder of why she trusted us. The anger leeched out of her eyes, “I know the two of you are good kids and are doing just fine with most of this, Brandon, it’s just–”

Bran cut her off. In the unbroken melodic voice of a nine-year-old, he lay bare her objection, “Sex.”

Mom’s eyebrows shot up, “What?”

“You’re worried about sex, Aunt Chloe. After all, I’m a boy and Brook is a girl. You’re worried that when we get older and we get hormones, we’ll do, um, sex with each other.”

Mom’s mouth opened and closed; Bran had hit the nail on the head. He didn’t stop, “If you trust me and Brook enough to let us stay home alone while you work, trust us enough with our own bodies. Maybe when I get older, I won’t want Brook to see me. Maybe she’ll feel the same way when, um, she gets boobs.”

I snickered as he flushed red when he said boobs. Even Mom put her hand to her face to hide her smile. Bran pushed through his embarrassment, changing tack slightly, “Aunt Chloe, if it doesn’t bother me if Brook sees me naked, is that wrong?”

Still hiding a bit of her smile, Mom said, “No, but–”

Bran cut her off, “And if Brook doesn’t mind if I see her naked, is that wrong?”

Mom’s hand returned to her side, “No, Bran. But–”

Bran cut in, “I don’t understand why you want to make a rule about something that you just said isn’t wrong, all because of sex. Are you afraid we’re going to have sex?”

While I admired the way Bran’s brain worked, I felt just as confused as the look on Mom’s face at that. What game was he playing at? After all, we’d just lost our virginities to each other.

Mom’s voice was uncertain, “Well, no. Not now. You’re too young.”

If only she knew, I thought. Bran replied, “But you think we’ll do sex when we’re older?”

Mom shrugged, “I don’t know, sweetie. Puberty changes you. You get hormones and have urges.”

Bran said, “I’ve read about it. Not that it would happen, but if Brook and I were adults, would doing sex be wrong?”

I turned and looked at him. Where was he going with this? Even I knew people frowned upon cousins having sex. Mom though, was thoughtful, “When you and Brook become adults, if you decided to have sex, that would be between the two of you. Do you think you’d want to?”

A smile played across Bran’s face, “Well, she is my best friend in the whole world.”

Mom said, “You’re almost ten years away from becoming an adult. You’ll change a lot between now and then. And Brook might not be interested either.”

I grumbled, “Mom, Bran will always be my best friend.” My face turned red, “Maybe I’d like to do stuff with him when we’re grown.”

Mom glared at me as Bran’s smile faded. He asked, “What about if we were teens? Lots of TV shows show kids in high school doing sex. Is that wrong?”

The question made Mom squirm. Really, the only people who still get worked up about teens and sex are moral busy-bodies. It’s not like the twentieth century, when moral busy-bodies ran the country. “N-, no, not wrong. But they may not be aware of the consequences of their actions.”

Bran bobbed his head, “Like getting pregnant?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t want that for Brook, or for you, Brandon.”

Bran’s expression was thoughtful, “Me neither. But it wouldn’t be wrong. Right?”

He had Mom squirming. She finally admitted, “Not wrong, no. But stupid if you don’t take precautions.”

“Like birth control pills?”

Mom dipped her head, “Yeah. Like birth control pills.”

Even though I was already twelve, Mom had never given me the talk. Maybe it was because I was so developmentally delayed. But to hear her talk about it then, I asked, “Did you take them as a teenager?”

Mom ruefully chuckled, “No, Brooklyn. That’s how I had you at eighteen. Some girls start taking the pill once they have their first period. Some wait until they get sexually active. Others wait until it’s too late.”

I said, “Well, I don’t want to be the last one.”

Despite being tired, Mom glanced between me and Bran, “The two of you aren’t fooling around, are you?”

Bran and I shook our heads furiously in unison. He said, “No way. I’m still too young.”

Mom relaxed, “Then why all the questions?”

I thought I saw a twinkle in his eyes as he replied, “I’m not going to be too young forever, Aunt Chloe.”

He put his arm around my shoulders, “I know teens do sex, just like adults. And when I’m old enough, I hope Brook is still my best friend because I want my first time to be with someone who’s really special.”

Mom surprised me. Her eyes softened, and she came over to us and knelt before us. A tear slid down her cheek as she pulled us into a hug, “I love the two of you so much. If you decide to have sex with one another, I hope you wait until your adults. But I know what teen hormones are like. I want both of you to promise me that if you can’t wait until you’re adults, that you’ll protect yourselves from teen pregnancy.”

I said, “I will, I promise.”

Bran echoed, “We’ll be careful.”

Mom stood and wiped tears away from her eyes. She shook her head, “Hell, how did we go from talking about not sharing baths and privacy to making sure the two of you wait to have sex until you’re ready?”

She headed toward her bedroom, ruefully laughing. When the door to her room closed, I slipped my hand into Bran’s, “Wow, that went better than I hoped.”

He squeezed it, “She just needed help to figure out why it’s not wrong.”

I leaned in and kissed him, “You’re the best. But, let’s not be obvious, okay? No more falling asleep naked on top of the covers. Okay?”

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