October 31, 2008

Story of Joe – 1993
Alex Hawk

It was 1993. Bill Clinton was in office, the Smashing Pumpkins were tearing up the charts and the information superhighway was nothing but a series of barely connected dirt roads.

I was twenty-one and living a decent life. I had a little apartment, nothing big, in one of the suburbs of Los Angeles. My life centered around work (at a pet store), video games (hooray for the Super Nintendo!), and spending time on the local BBS’s.

BBS’s aren’t really around anymore. They were quite the thing back then. Basically your computer called a computer at someone’s house. I was getting email back before I even knew that was what it was called. I could access some newsgroups and correspond with people all over the world. And, just like the internet to come, I could download porn, though admittedly it was pretty much all just .txt files.

Mind you, I didn’t have any way to SAVE those files. No, my “computer” consisted of a TRS 80 DT-1. It was just a terminal. It had a keyboard built into a monitor and that was it. I used a 300 baud modem to connect. 300 baud. Anyone now who doesn’t use a DSL or cable modem probably uses a 56.6k modem. That would be a 56,600 baud modem. Consider how slow THAT is, and imagine using something that’s only 300 baud. Gads! Even now I don’t know how I managed. I eventually upgraded to a 2400 baud modem and then the granddaddy of them all, the 14.4 modem. Oh, how happy I was!

Some people who ran these boards had really big ones with several lines supporting many users. Those were the best, cause you could get into chats. I know that doesn’t sound like much these days, but back then it was a really big thing.

I was on one of these boards. I was mostly reading a Star Trek newsgroup (I was a geek), when I got a little message across the bottom of my screen saying, “TheCrazyOne invites you to chat!”. There wasn’t really anything like instant messages back then. You had to go into chat rooms, mostly, in order to talk.

I accessed TheCrazyOne’s profile and read through it. Basically the only thing about him was that he was male and lived in the same suburb as me. Nothing else was filled in. Well, that wasn’t THAT unusual. A lot of people left things unfilled in. I figured I’d pop into his chat room and see what he wanted.

TheCrazyOne and I were the only ones in the chat room. I typed out [Hello!]

[hi how r u?] Yeah, the quality syntax we’ve all come to know and love on the internet started out on the BBS’s back in the day.
[I’m ok. How are you?]
[im ok my name is joe]
[Nice to meet you. I’m Ryan.]
[hi rayn] he typed and then [im sorry i meant ryan]
[It’s ok, Joe. 🙂 ]
[what does 🙂 mean/] he typed after a moment.
[Look at it sideways. It’s a smile.] Emoticons were a new thing back then.
[oh ok cool]
[So why did you page me?]
[no reason i read ur profile and thought u might be cool to talk to] Joe typed.
Well, this was scintillating. “What about it did you like?]
[well u like movies and books and so do i.]
[Ok. What’s your favorite movie?]
There was a moment before Joe typed, [i like a lot of them u know? terminator 2 was really kick ass.]
[Yeah, that was a good movie, alright.]
[can i ask u a question/?]
[Sure.] I had an idea where this might be leading.
[r u really gay? it says u r]

Bingo. Back then being gay wasn’t quite as easy as it was nowadays. There were special BBS’s you could get onto that were gay oriented, but that was it. There weren’t any gay websites, or any websites at all for that matter. So lots of people would come into contact with gay people for the first time while on one of these boards.

[Yes, I am. Are you?] I asked.
[ive never met anyone who is gay b4] he replied.
[Well, now you have. 🙂 ] I noticed he’d dodged the question.
[yeah] There was quiet for a moment and then Joe typed, [i heard a couple guys got busted having sex in the parking lot of harding highschool]
[I hadn’t heard that.]
[i thought it sounded kind of cool]
I raised an eyebrow. [Cool they were having sex or that they got caught?]
[that they were havign sex 🙂 ]
[Ah. So are you gay, too, then?]
[i dont think so i just thought it sounded cool]
[You don’t think so? You’re not certain?]
[well i guess not i dont really know]
[You ever have sex with another guy?]
[no i havent had sex with anyone yet im still virgin]
[Oh, ok.] I thought for a moment and then typed, [Well, when you jerk off, do you think about boys or girls?]
Joe didn’t type anything for several seconds and then said, [whats jerk off mean?]
That really surprised me. [Jerking off. You know, masturbating? Playing with yourself? Rubbing your dick and having an orgasm?]
[i havent done that] he typed after a bit.
Now I was a little confused. [How old are you, Joe?]
I nearly choked on the Coke I’d been drinking. [12?]
[yeah is taht bad?]
[No, I’m just surprised is all. I thought you were older.] The idea that he might actually be an adult just pretending never entered my mind. The whole notion that people would pretend to be something they weren’t while online wasn’t something that had really occurred to me yet. He said he was a twelve-year-old boy, and I believed it.

I’d been silent for quite a bit and apparently Joe started to get concerned. [r u still there? u rnt made at me r u?]
[If you mean mad, no I’m not.]
[ok good 🙂 ]
[So you really don’t know what jerking off is?]
[no what is it]
[Well, it’s where you sort of stroke your penis until you have an orgasm. It feels really good. It’s basically simulating sex.] I typed out.
Joe typed, [oh cool how do u do it?]
[You want me to teach you how?] My penis had hardened up at some point during the conversation. I wasn’t sure why this was making me horny, but was it ever! Cybersex didn’t really exist much yet, but this was an inkling of what it could be.
[Ok, I guess I can. It’s pretty easy after all.]
[Well, first, is your penis hard?]
[Ok. What are you wearing?]
[sweatpants and boxers]
[Ok, well, pull them down enough to let your penis out.]
After a few seconds Joe typed, [ok i did that]

I reached down and rubbed at my own erection, picturing this basically naked boy. [Alright now hold your penis in your hand, kind of like a joystick.]
[Are you?]
[Ok, now hold it kind of loosely and start rubbing it up and down a little. Do it nice and slow until you get used to what you’re doing.]
I let it sit at that for a minute or so and then typed, [How’s it feel]
[You mean good? 🙂 ]
[Now try doing it faster and faster.] I released my penis from my pants and began masturbating myself.
[Is it feeling really good now?] I asked after a bit.
[Pretty soon it’ll feel really good and then you’ll have an orgasm. Some stuff might come out of your penis. Don’t worry about it if it happens.]
A couple minutes went by and I was just about to ask for a progress report when Joe typed out to me [wow that was really cool]
[Did anything come out?]
[It’s kind of sticky and white?]
[You know what it is, right?]
[That’s right. So did you like it?]
[yeah i did 🙂 ]
[Cool. Going to do it more?]
[hell yeah]
[Cool.] I was jerking pretty hardcore myself at this point, picturing this boy having his first orgasm.
[i gotta go my mom will be home soon]
[Oh, ok. You wanna talk again sometime?]
[sure i should be here tomarrow ok?]
[Ok. Enjoy your new toy.]
[what new toy?] then [oh i get it 🙂 ]
[ok bye] and he was gone from the chat room.

I finished off my masturbation, thinking about what it would have been like to watch this boy playing with himself. I wondered if I’d ever see him again. I certainly hoped so!


Copyright 2004 by Alex Hawk, all rights reserved.