October 16, 2008

A Thing as Pure as Love – Chapter One
Alex Hawk

It was hard for me to tell which was worse. The feeling of my dad’s fist bashing into the side of my face, or the sound it made when it hit. As I fell to the ground, my vision going blurry for a few moments, I thought that it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that I was being hit to begin with.

“You stay the fuck out of this, Cunter!” my dad snarled. My real name was Hunter. He called me Cunter when he was drinking.

I slunk into the corner, holding my head as my dad turned towards my little sister, Cassie, and slapped her again.

“You little slut! You whore!”

“I’m sorry, Daddy!” Cassie whimpered.

“Sorry? Oh, you’re not sorry yet, but you’re going to be!”

This had all started when our dad came home after hearing a rumor that Cassie had been fucked by one of the boys at school. I didn’t know if it was true. She was only twelve, so it probably wasn’t. But he’d been drinking and he didn’t care. He got like this when he had booze.

He slapped Cassie hard a couple more times. I could see a little blood at the corner of her mouth.

“Please, Daddy!” she whimpered again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Ha! I’ll show you sorry!” Then Dad threw Cassie onto the couch. Once she was there, he reached down and roughly tore off her skirt and then her panties. Then he rolled her over and started smacking her bare backside. Hard. Very hard.

I shook my head, trying to clear the fuzz from my mind. I’d seen my dad in many rages in my fourteen years, but this was the worst ever. He was so… angry. And there was more than just anger, too. I didn’t know what.

Then my dad rolled Cassie onto her back, spread her legs and snarled, “So you like to fuck, huh?” Then he tore her shirt open, leaving my sister nude. My eyes were drawn instantly to the small space between her legs. There were just a few strands of hair over a small slit. It was fascinating.

And now I knew with a full, certain dread exactly what was going to happen next. I watched, feeling numb as my dad reached down and started fumbling with his pants. Cassie knew, too, and had a horrified look on her face.

There was no way I could let this happen. I had to do something! I rose to my feet and, staggering slightly, made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed the large carving knife out of the block and went back into the living room where my dad had managed to get his pants open, and was reaching into his underwear.

“Please, no Daddy! Don’t!” Cassie screamed.

He punched her in the face again. “Shut up, slut!”

That was it. A blood-red haze fell over my vision. I came up behind my father with the knife in my hand. I lifted it up high and plunged it down into his back, feeling tissue, muscles and sinew spreading wide around the knife blade.

My dad let out a strange gurggling scream and started to turn around. I grabbed the knife and pulled it out of him, then plunged it back down again and again and again and again. I kept stabbing, letting all my rage and fury go out of my body and into the knife. I lost track quickly as to how many times I stabbed him, but I know it was a lot.

Finally I stopped as my father fell onto the carpet. I knew he was dead. I’d killed him. My own father. I was distantly amazed at how much blood there was. It was all over me, him, the couch and Cassie’s naked body. I looked over at her, breathing hard.

“Hunter,” Cassie whispered. She leapt up off the couch and threw herself into my arms, crying and sobbing and saying my name over and over again. I dropped the knife to the floor and held her tight, starting to cry myself as I realized what I’d done. We fell to the floor, continuing to hold each other and cry for a good half hour or so. We were crying for each other, for ourselves and even for our dad.

Eventually the tears stopped. Cassie was still whimpering a little, but now my mind was in overdrive, trying to figure out what to do next. I knelt down next to my father’s bloody corpse and thought about what I should do now. It took me a few minutes, but finally I made up my mind.


“Wha… what?” she said with a little hiccup. She was never a pretty crier, even when she was naked. One part of my mind was noticing that her nude body was rather attractive, but I pushed that out of my head.

“We have to leave.”

“What?” She looked up at me. “Leave?”

“Yes. We can’t stay here. The police are going to know who did this.”

“What? But you saved me from him! They can’t get you in trouble for that… can they?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know for sure,” I admitted. “But I don’t want to find out the hard way and be wrong. We have to leave.” Our dad had taught us never to trust the police. In retrospect this was probably because he didn’t want us to report him for child abuse. No matter his reasons, he’d made us rather paranoid.

“Where will we go?”

“I don’t know for sure.” I went over to the coffee table and picked up my father’s wallet. It was the Friday of Memorial Day Weekend, 1976, and he’d been paid today. I opened it up and looked inside, counting out one-hundred dollars.

“There’s some money here,” I said. “We can take this and get out of town. It’ll be enough to live on for a while.”

“But… I don’t want to leave. All my friends… our school…”

“I know, Cassie,” I said gently. “Look, I guess you don’t have to leave if you don’t want to, but I do. At least until we find out what the police will do about this.”

Cassie sat there silently for a few seconds and then said, “I can’t let you leave without me. If you have to leave, I have to go with you.”

I nodded. “Alright. Look, go get a shower. Get cleaned up. Then pack up some clothes. Not too much. Just a suitcase and your backpack. Just stuff you’re going to need, ok?”

“Ok.” She stood up. “Hunter?”


“Thank you.”

I nodded and tried not to look at my father’s dead body. I was a murderer now, I realized. “You’re welcome. Now get cleaned up.”


Cassie vanished to the bathroom. I stripped down to my boxers and threw the bloody clothes into the corner of the room. Then I just stood there, looking at the body of the man I’d just killed, and lost myself in my thoughts.

Eventually I heard Cassie’s voice. “Hunter?” She walked into the living room wrapped in a towel. “I’m done in the shower. You should take one, too.”

“Right,” I said with a ragged sigh. I walked past my sister and went into the bathroom where I tossed my boxers aside and spent about twenty minutes in the shower. When I finally felt clean enough, I got out of the shower. I toweled off and went to my bedroom where I got dressed and started packing.

Cassie came into my room. “Hunter? I’m all packed up.”

I nodded. “Ok. I’ll be ready soon. Go into the kitchen and get all the food you can, ok? All the stuff we can easily carry with us. Like peanut butter and bread and stuff. Things that don’t need the fridge.”


“Oh, and toss Dad’s beer into the trash,” I added as an afterthought.

Cassie grinned a grim smile. “No problem.”

I took one last look around my bedroom. There was so much I wanted to take with me but couldn’t. So much I’d never see again. My comic books, my records, my posters. I at least made sure to find room in my bag for my favorite books. Heinlein, Asimov and Bradburry would be going with me wherever I went.

I joined my sister in the kitchen just as she finished tossing the last of Dad’s beer into the garbage. I put a hand on her shoulder.

“You ready?” I asked.

“Are you sure we have to do this?” Cassie said, looking up at me.

I nodded. “I’m sure,” I lied. I was anything but sure, but it seemed like the right thing. Dad had always told us the police would try to screw us over at any chance. If they found me… well… I didn’t want to think about it.

“Alright,” Cassie said with a sigh. “Let’s go.”

The two of us left the house and walked out into the night. Cassie looked back at the house as we left. I didn’t.

Two hours later, Cassie and I had made our way from our family’s house in Queens out to Grand Central Station. During the trip, I’d formulated a little plan. We would go to Los Angeles, where our mother lived. We didn’t know exactly where she was. We had no address or phone number. But we knew she was out there.

When we got to Grand Central, I bought two tickets to Washington, DC. It took up a decent chunk of our money. I could have afforded two direct tickets to LA, but I figured it would be best to take a longer route in case the police ended up chasing us.

Once we were on the train, I let out a faint sigh of relief. It seemed like we’d gotten away clear so far. I wondered how long our luck would last?

Cassie snuggled up next to me. I put my arm around her, feeling very protective. I’d killed my father in order to save my sister. What a weird thing to think about. It still hadn’t really sunk in yet.

I actually managed to doze off for a bit as we rode on the train. I woke up just as we were getting into the DC suburbs. Cassie was sleeping in my arms still. I gently shook her to wake her up.

“We’re almost there,” I said.


As we rode into DC, I looked around. There was red, white and blue bunting everywhere. Not only was it Memorial Day Weekend, but the Bicentennial was in July. I wondered where Cassie and I would be then.

When the train stopped we got off and stood there in the station, momentarily lost while I tried to figure out what we should do next. Finally I settled on getting a cab and asking the driver to take us to a cheap hotel. He put the car into gear and we rode in silence to a hotel.

Once there we went to the front desk, paid for a room (twenty dollars), and then made our way into the room we’d rented. It wasn’t much. Just a pair of beds, a bathroom, a dresser, a TV, nothing really big. Some really bad paintings on the wall.

“How long are we going to stay here, Hunter?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably only a couple days.”


We watched TV for a little bit, but it was getting late and we needed to sleep. We turned the television off and eventually drifted off and dreamed, images of my father’s dead body mixing with images of my sister’s naked body.

* * *

I woke up at about 7:30, disoriented and wondering where I was. Then it all came flooding back, especially the knife. I’d never forget the knife. It was currently inside my suitcase, where it would stay until I figured out a safe way to get rid of it.

I reached down and gave my hard penis a couple tugs. It was always erect when I woke up. Most mornings I’d just jerk off and take care of it. But with my sister sleeping not more than five feet away, I thought it would be a bad idea.

Sighing, I got up out of bed and went to take a shower. By the time I got out, Cassie was awake and watching TV.


“Hey,” she said back.

“I’ve got an idea for today,” I said.


“I’m going to go to McDonald’s and get us some food. Then I’ll come back and we can eat. After that, I’m going to head out, get a bus and see if I can get to the suburbs. Find some people who need their lawn mowed. If I mow four lawns a day, our room is covered and if I mow five, then we have food. All that without having to use up any of our money.”


I gave Cassie a hug. “You gonna be ok when I’m gone?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”


As I rode on the bus out to the suburbs around Washington City, I thought about what I’d done when I killed my dad. I didn’t really feel any guilt or sadness about it. I didn’t feel any pride or sense of accomplishment, either. Really, all that I felt was that I’d done what had needed to be done. I’d killed my dad just like squashing a bug. I knew I should feel more than that. Maybe I would later.

I finally got out to what seemed to be a suitable area. I left the bus and started walking around, knocking on doors and offering to mow lawns, trim bushes, clean gutters or whatever else it was people needed to have done. I ran into two problems quickly. I didn’t have a lawn mower of my own, and since it was Memorial Day Weekend, lots of people weren’t home.

But I did have some luck. Two homes in a row wanted me to mow their lawns and one needed me to clean out their gutters, so I ended up with fifteen dollars quickly. One more job and I’d have enough money to pay for the hotel room for another night!

It was at the last place I visited that something strange happened.

I knocked on the door and a woman answered. She was pretty attractive, I guessed. Nothing big, but not bad. She was probably in her early thirties. She smiled at me.

“Can I help you?”

I nodded. “I actually hope I can help you. I’m going around trying to find work to do. Cleaning, yard work, anything.”

“Oh, yes? How much would you charge to get the leaves out of my pool?”

“Five dollars,” I said, promptly.

“Good. That lazy husband of mine won’t ever do it.” She smiled. “My name is Norma, by the way.”

“I’m Hunter,” I said, shaking her hand. “Where’s your pool?”

“This way.” Norma lead me back to her backyard where I saw a fairly good sized pool. My heart sank a little. I knew it was going to take so long I wouldn’t be able to do any other work, but at least I’d make some money here.

I picked up the skimmer and got to work. It wasn’t very much fun. Her pool was just full of crap. Leaves, mostly. It took me over two hours to finally get everything done. When I was finished, I walked into the house.

“Done,” I said, coming up to Norma. She was watching President Ford talking on the news.

“Yeah? Let’s have a look.” She stood up and walked over to the window, peering out at the pool. “Very nice, Hunter.”

“Thank you.”

She placed her hand on my head and ruffled my hair a little. “Come on. I’ll get your money.”


I followed Norma upstairs to the bedroom where she rooted around in her purse.

“Hmmm…” she said after a moment. “I seem to only have a twenty.”

“Oh! Well, I can make change,” I said, reaching into my pocket.

“Well… don’t worry about it, Hunter. You’re obviously working hard and you seem to really need the money.” Norma held out the bill to me. “Keep the change.”

“Wow, really?” I smiled widely. “Gee, thanks!”

“No problem.” She smiled at me again. “You’re a very nice boy, Hunter.”


“Really cute, too.”

I was taken aback. “Uh… thanks.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

Totally lost as to why she was asking that, I said, “No? Why?”

“Just wondering.” Smiling again she put her hand on my chest. “A boy as cute as you should have girls lining up for him.”

My heart was beating fast. I had no idea where this was going or what to do. “Thanks,” I settled for saying again.

Norma licked her lips and then, to my incredible surprised, leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. I stood there, shocked for a moment, and before I could really adjust to that, she moved her mouth down and kissed me on the neck. I was completely floored by this. What the hell was going on? She had a husband, right? Why was she kissing me?

“Lay down, Hunter,” Norma said, pushing me gently onto her bed. I let her push me down, still unsure about what was going on.

“Norma? What-”

“Shhhh.” She put her finger on my lips. “Don’t say anything, ok?”

I nodded.

Norma kissed me on the mouth again and then placed her hand on my jeans. She unbuttoned and unzipped them, reaching inside, into my underwear, and pulling out my extremely hard teenage penis. Then she moved her head down slowly, and before I knew what was happening, I felt the luscious sensation of her mouth slipping down around the shaft of my virgin erection.

I let out a little moan. I’d heard of blowjobs before, but I never thought I’d be getting one, especially from an older woman. I never felt anything so good before! Her tongue and lips were slipping around all over my penis, giving me more pleasure than I’d ever experienced in all my fourteen years. I stopped questioning why this was happening and simply laid back, closed my eyes, and enjoyed it.

Norma apparently knew exactly what she was doing, too. She was obviously trying to prolong this experience for me as much as she could. She’d get me to the brink of an orgasm and then pull back, then push me towards it again. All in all, my first ever blowjob ran about fifteen minutes before I finally released a series of gasping moans and felt my penis start pulsing inside Norma’s mouth, my sperm firing down her throat.

When I was done cumming, I laid there on Norma’s bed, panting, my mind spinning. She moved back up and smiled at me as she wiped her mouth off.

“And how was that for a tip?” she asked.

I grinned a little. “I… liked that…”

“Was that your first blowjob?”

I nodded.

“Good.” She reached down and squeezed my penis then looked at the clock. “You should get going. My husband will be home soon.”

“Ok.” I stood up and pulled my pants up then was escorted downstairs by Norma.

“Thanks for all your hard-” she grabbed my penis through my pants, “-work.”

“Thank you,” I said with a dazed grin.

Minutes later I was back on the bus heading back to downtown DC, thinking all about what had just happened, unbearably horny and very happy. I stopped by McDonald’s again, getting some food for my sister and I, then went back to our lodgings.

When I got back to the hotel, I paid for another night and went to the room.

“I’m back,” I said, opening the door.

Cassie leapt off her bed and gave me a big hug. “Oh, Hunter, I was so worried without you being here.”

“Hey, it’s ok.” I hugged her back. “I got plenty of money and I got us some food, too.”

“Really? Cool!”

I divided the food and sat there eating with my sister as we watched tv. It was almost normal. Almost. But my mind kept flipping between images of my sister’s naked body on the couch, my dad’s dead body on the floor and how it had felt when Norma gave me the blowjob.

Before I went to sleep I went into the shower, partly to get clean and partly to jerk off. I mostly thought about Norma’s mouth around my penis, but also thought about my sister when I’d seen her naked. She was the only girl I’d ever seen nude before, and I told myself later that was why I’d wound up cumming while thinking about her.


Copyright 2005 by Alex Hawk, all rights reserved. Trahimur omnes studio laudis, so send me some, damnit!