I Hate You! – Chapter 1
I hate You!
It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside. Just not funny in a good way! Every time I see or hear my little brother, I instantly feel irritation and anger boil up. He’s acting like such an asshole lately that I want to punch him on the nose, the moment he opens his mouth.
The thirteen-year-old brat claims that it’s his duty to irritate his big sister. But during the past half year or something, things have taken a turn for the worse. Much to our mother’s frustration, we can’t talk like ordinary people anymore.
The thing is, we used to get along fine. We were born in the same year. Me in early January, and my brother Jake in mid-December. It was pretty awesome initially, and we always had to explain it. Mom always said that she was so fertile after I was born that she could get pregnant by just the blowing wind. But a couple of months after my brother was born, Dad bailed on us. Mom didn’t want to talk about it and always went silent when we asked about him. “I’ll tell you all about it one day. Just not now,” was her standard reply.
Because of our small age difference and our Arabic looks, lots of people thought we were twins, and we found it funny to keep up appearances to them. And that small age gap also meant we were into mostly the same things, and we used to play together a lot. But when I started growing boobs, everything changed.
Jake started looking at me in a different light, and whenever one of his friends stayed over, they made fun of me together. Jake even stole one of my bras once, and they used it as a slingshot to shoot stuff at me. I also noticed him trying to take sneak peeks at my boobs as time progressed.
But all these practical jokes and irritations were nothing compared to the way we were communicating now. I don’t know why or when it started, but Jake always seemed to feel the need to say something insulting. The central theme in his insults was me being a slut and a tease. I didn’t know why he kept referring to that. I was still a virgin and never went further than some heavy kissing on a date. Some boys tried to go further, but I never let them. Ever. I was in charge of my body, not them.
Admittedly, I liked to dress in the latest fashion, showing some skin and wearing skirts or tight jeans. But I wasn’t a slut. Far from it! I was way more of a prude than a slut. But no matter how much I tried to explain it to Jake, he just wouldn’t listen.
Last month, I caught him trying to look at me when I was in the shower. I gave him so much shit about it that we got to a point where we could only scream at each other. I decided not to talk to Mom about it because deep down, I actually felt a little sorry for him. I don’t know why I felt that way because he didn’t deserve it. But still…
This all accumulated to the point where we were screaming at each other in our living room. Today I learned that Jake had talked to his friends at school about ‘all my sexual escapades’ he knew about. In return, I spoke to my friends about how he still was a bedwetter when he was nine.
“ENOUGH!” Mom shouted when she came to look at what was happening.
Mom’s disappointment on her face struck me hard. She’d given it several tries to stop us from fighting all the time, but when she saw us like this, she broke. And I broke a little with her.
“Upstairs with you!” she said with fire in her eyes.
“But what about the eclipse?” Jake asked, suddenly very timid.
“I don’t give a fuck!” she responded.
Mom never swore in front of us, which was a clear indication to me that we had crossed a line and that I needed to lay low. We were about to watch the lunar eclipse together, and still, she sent us upstairs.
Mom studied hard when we were young. Her friends spent a lot of time with us, so Mom could graduate. She managed to land a job at the local university, where she started working as an astronomer. Because of her love for the stars above us, she wanted to show us the wonders of the universe. This eclipse was a great opportunity for her to do so. So she couldn’t be more disappointed than at that moment.
“But…” Jake tried.
“Go to your rooms. Now! We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” Mom said without looking at either of us.
Jake shrugged nonchalantly and walked in front of me toward the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, he stopped, looked at me, and said, “Happy? Now Mom is seriously pissed off!”
“Shut up and get your bedwetting ass upstairs!” I hissed.
He stopped a few times as he walked upstairs so I would bump into him. But I knew about his tricks, so I didn’t fall for that one.
Jake stood in front of his bedroom door and said, “Eat shit, Kate!”
“Fuck you, you little fuckface!”
We glared at each other for a few moments, trying to kill the other with just our eyes. I was feeling so angry at that little twerp that my hands were balled into fists, and my heart was trying to beat out of my chest. Then, as if we practiced it, we simultaneously said, “I hate you!”
As we said this, I felt a little shiver shoot through my body, but it hardly registered at the moment. Jake also seemed disturbed for a moment, but when he stuck up his middle finger at me and opened his door, I just shrugged and entered my room.
It was late enough to call it a night. So I changed into my regular sleeping outfit; Panties and a tank top. I watched some television on my bed for about an hour before I got under the covers and clicked off the light.
I thought about my little brother and how he managed to fuck everything up. Maybe I could be the bigger person here and try to make peace? But then again… he’s the one that started all this. Ah, well… maybe things will be better tomorrow. At least I didn’t have to sit through Mom’s lecture about the eclipse tonight. That was a plus. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off into a dreamless sleep.
Copyright 2023 – Jason Crow
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Si nondum invenisti, prima linea e cantu tuo est